Beyond Charitable Giving: What’s Your Currency of Generosity?

Like the 5 love languages, each giver has a default way of using money to bless others

Although I write a lot about charitable giving on The Rich Fool, a generous life calls for more than monetary donations. A good friend reminded me recently that charity is just one “currency of generosity” — and perhaps the easiest one.

My buddy Brant made the comment as I thanked him for inviting me to his going-away party. But this wasn’t your typical sendoff. Days before moving to California, Brant and his wife threw a party on par with a wedding. They rented an elegant venue, planned a seated dinner with open bar, and hired a DJ. With more than 100 of their closest friends in attendance, the event presumably cost them thousands of dollars.

One of the most generous couples I know, Brant and his wife have encouraged me on my journey of generosity. The going-away party spoke volumes about what they value and how they view money. The night was a celebration of friendship and a gesture of appreciation for the people who have shaped their lives in meaningful ways.

As we said goodbye, I described the party as an act of generosity. Brant said the decision to throw such a grand event stemmed from the realization that his wife’s currency of generosity isn’t charity — it’s relationships. She doesn’t get excited about giving money away; she receives joy from blessing the people she loves.

Brant and I both think about generosity mostly in terms of charitable donations. We’re high-income earners and personal finance geeks who believe that charitable giving should grow with wealth. We’re numbers guys.

Our wives, however, don’t care about budgets. They’re both on board with our families’ pursuits of radical generosity, but they push us to think beyond writing checks. While Brant and I see the quantitative side of generosity, our wives don’t let us forget that there’s a also qualitative side that often gets overlooked.

The going-away party challenged me to think about the different currencies of generosity, and how it’s easy to check the charitable giving box and ignore the others. True radical generosity is a lifestyle and a mindset that should shape all our personal finance decisions, not just the philanthropic ones. It consists of both generous giving and generous living. And when the line between the two gets blurry, that’s when you’ve become truly generous.

The Six Currencies of Generosity

The discussion about the currencies of generosity reminds me of “The 5 Love Languages.” The book explains that everyone has a primary way they express love: words of affirmation, acts of service, gift-giving, quality time or physical touch. When you discover your love language, and your partner’s love language, your relationship improves.

The same concept applies to generosity. All givers have a primary currency of generosity, or a way they are wired to use money to bless others. If you want to grow in generosity, it’s critical that you stretch outside your comfort zone and give in new ways. In a relationship, it’s also important to understand each person’s generosity profile. Just like the love languages, a lack of understanding about your partner’s currency of generosity can cause relationship tension.

(Side note: I’m talking specifically here about personal finance decisions. Generosity should certainly be all-encompassing of your treasure, time and talents, but I’m only covering currencies of generosity as it relates to how you spend money.)

While there are five love languages, I believe there are six currencies of generosity:

Currency of Generosity 1: Charity

The charity currency of generosity includes monetary donations to charitable organizations. It’s often the default currency because it’s the most obvious one and the easiest to include in a budget. Charitable giving deserves a place in every budget, and it should increase at an accelerated rate as incomes rises. It’s a critical personal finance discipline that prevents us from becoming rich fools who aimlessly accumulate possessions.

Currency of Generosity 2: Empathy

I consider the empathy currency of generosity an extension of charity, but it’s usually more spontaneous. And there’s usually no tax write-off. A generous act of empathy could include a small deed like giving a homeless person money or a meal, or a big commitment like taking in a foster child. There are two parts to the empathy equation: You have to proactively look for needs, and then respond to them out of heartfelt concern for someone else’s well-being.

Currency of Generosity 3: Relationships

When we spend money on the people we love, that’s the relationship currency of generosity. Whether it’s throwing a going-away party to tell your closest friends how much you love them, giving gifts or flying across the country to visit a struggling friend, this currency is all about investing in relationships. It requires a willingness to spend money freely to love, support and encourage people in your life.

Currency of Generosity 4: Hospitality

One of my friends pays for dinner almost every time he goes out with other people. His primary currency of generosity is hospitality, and it brings him joy to treat his friends. This currency could also include spending money to entertain people at your house, letting friends stay with you or caring for a sick person. It can be even be spent on strangers, such as the parable of the Good Samaritan.

Currency of Generosity 5: Kindness

Speaking of generosity toward strangers, you can spend the currency of kindness on people you don’t know. These random acts of kindness could include paying for someone’s groceries, leaving a big tip at a restaurant or buying a round of drinks for the bar. Like empathy, the kindness currency happens spontaneously and requires intentionality. You must look for opportunities to use your money to spread kindness and hopefully encourage others to pay it forward.

Currency of Generosity 6: Assistance

The last currency of generosity is assistance, or monetary support for people going through financial challenges. I know people who have given $5,000 to a friend who lost a job, paid for a pastor’s honeymoon, and made a car down payment for someone struggling to get back on their feet. These acts of assistance can be expensive, and you shouldn’t enable unhealthy behavior, but people with this generosity profile have reached a place of radical generosity where they give freely without reservation.

Thinking Beyond Charitable Giving

When I look at those six currencies of generosity, I realize I still have a lot of room for growth. While I have climbed the ladder of generosity when it comes to charitable giving, I hold on to money more tightly in other areas. I can plan for charity, but a generous lifestyle beyond donations often blows the budget. That’s difficult for me, even though I’m rich by most historical standards.

During the goodbye dinner, my wife wondered how many people would show up if we threw ourselves a going-away party. She marveled at the number of close friends Brant and his wife made during their four years in Chicago. It was a testament to their generous spirits and how intentionally they invest in people’s lives.

The takeaway from that night is that I need to think beyond charitable giving. I need to grow in the other currencies of generosity. The link between our friends’ open hands and the joy-filled life they built during their short time in Chicago is undeniable. I’m grateful they shared part of it with us.

What’s your primary currency of generosity? Would you add any to the list above?