When it comes to generosity, “greatness” requires us to see a need and immediately meet the need, without regard for social standing or our own desires. If we want to live more generous lives, we should imitate children, who view the world through a filter not yet corrupted by their own ambitions and fears. My son’s response to a homeless man reminded me of our tendency to over-complicate giving, and how simple the logic really should be.
On this Father’s Day, I wanted to better understand how stay-at-home dads get over the psychological barrier of not being traditional breadwinners. In interviews with friends, I found a common theme in their stories: To take the bold step of becoming a stay-at-home dad, a husband must believe in his wife. It’s only when a husband sees the full potential of his spouse can he feel confident enough to leave behind one of the primary drivers of his identity and purpose: his own career.
My son came home from school with an urgent request: We must go to Toys R Us now before the store closes. He doesn’t understand why the retailer is going out of business — only that the toys will soon disappear. My son’s plea taught me about the psychology of spending: Sometimes we make financial decisions that lack rationale, but they make perfect sense in the moment. It’s only when we question our own motivations that we make better money moves.
The first time my son asked whether we’re rich, my wife and I sheepishly deflected it and mumbled something about being middle class. But I felt guilty about that answer, like we were lying. At that moment, I realized that we are rich. And we need to own that. The next time he asked, I confessed: “Yes, son. We are rich.” It’s not a lesson most parents would teach their children, but it’s an important confession that will impart financial wisdom that lasts a lifetime.